Someone Else's Doll
by Random1377
Summary: The taking away of innocence... the breaking of a child... the darkest story I could concieve... Rated R for dark themes an disturbing concepts.


Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Studio Gainax animation, not me. Should they, or anyone affiliated with them, request it, I will remove all traces of this story from the web. Furthermore… this story deals with the issue of child molestation. If this topic offends you or make you uncomfortable, please do not read. Thank you.

Someone Else's Doll

By Random1377

Asuka Langley Souryu was dreaming again. That's what she thought, anyway – what else could be the explanation for what was happening to her?

"Five percent," she whispered angrily. "FIVE!"

She had tried unsuccessfully to run away, but the damned Section Two agents found her after a single day. She decided, after that, to apply herself – she had to prove that she was still able to pilot! But no matter how hard she tried, she could not raise her sync ratio over ten percent, the minimum required to allow Unit 02 to move.

"Even Wondergirl is at forty!" she raged, stomping her way aimlessly through NERV headquarters. "And Shinji the Hero is over eighty!!"

She slammed her fist into a passing door as hard as she could.

"DAMNIT!!!"

Leaning against the now half-open door, she cradled her hand against her stomach.

"That hurt…" she whispered, noting idly that she was leaning into a small maintenance closest, complete with coveralls and a mop. "Maybe I can be a janitor…" she mused glumly. "The marvelous Second Child! Best damn janitor NERV has seen for…" she trailed off as a door several yards up the corridor slid open and Rei Ayanami, the First Child, stepped out.

The redhead narrowed her eyes, ducking back into the closest and peering around the doorframe.

"Last thing I need is to see HER," she muttered darkly, looking down the hallway to figure out exactly what section she was in. The markings on the wall – present in all NERV corridors – indicated that she was in sector 7-J, Section One's auxiliary location. "What's she doing here?"

She decided that she truly didn't care. Rei was simply an annoyance – a bothersome little gnat Asuka would someday brush to the side. She blinked, though, as the blue-haired girl paused in the middle of the hallway, glancing around slowly before reaching up and fastening the strap on her school skirt.

Or rather… refastening it.

"That's not a bathroom," Asuka muttered, confused. "What the hell is she doing?"

Rei finished adjusting her clothing and moved off down the hallway, never looking back.

For a moment, Asuka considered following her. Maybe the First Child was doing something she shouldn't be doing, or perhaps she was lost. It would be a great day in Asuka's life if she could be there when Rei Ayanami, Wondergirl number one… realized she had gotten herself lost in NERV and had to ask directions.

Maybe she could even arrange to be the one Rei asked – how perfect would that be?

Ultimately, Asuka remained still. Something about the hallway struck her as familiar, and though she had been wandering for an hour or two, almost trying to get lost herself, there was something about that place that reminded her of-

"Miss Ibuki?

The door had opened again, and Maya Ibuki, Ritsuko Akagi's understudy stepped out.

Asuka almost immediately lost interest. "Some sync test explanation or something," she muttered darkly, starting to step out of the closet. "Should have just followed…"

She stopped short as Maya also looked around, smoothing her uniform slacks carefully. She narrowed her eyes as the older woman looked both ways, then quickly unfastened two of her shirt buttons – which, she noticed belatedly, had been incorrectly fastened – then pushed them deftly through the right holes.

"What the…?"

All of her instincts suddenly whispered, 'Wrong. This is wrong – leave here.'

Ducking back into the closet and closing the door until it was barely cracked, Asuka kept her eyes on the technician. After another surreptitious look around, Maya smiled to herself, heading in the general direction of the main exit. 

As she passed Asuka's hiding place… she began to hum quietly.

**

For two weeks, Asuka watched what was happening.

Things that never would have occurred to her – mannerisms, timing, comings and goings – became clear as glass when she knew what to look for. Maya's odd little smile, she noticed, appeared only when Rei was around. And Rei, always docile and quiet, never raised her eyes when the new head of Project-E was in the room.

But who to tell?

Misato was always busy. The Commander most likely had other concerns, and would not want his time wasted with 'maybe something's going on.' Her roommate, and fellow pilot, Shinji Ikari might _care_ – he DID have a strange little 'friendship' with Wondergirl – but he had no authority.

Finally, Asuka decided to follow her instincts – and confront Maya face to face.

She waited until seven-twenty on a cool Friday evening, knowing that the technician would be in her office (she was always in her office at that time) and walked in, waiting until the woman looked up, blinking in surprise, before speaking.

"I know."

Maya froze as she found the Second Child staring directly into her eyes. "Asuka!" she gasped, "You startled me!"

Asuka frowned slightly. _And you ignored what I said,_ she thought suspiciously.

"What can I do for you?" the older woman asked pleasantly.

"You can tell me what Wondergirl was doing here just now," Asuka replied flatly, folding her arms under her breasts.

Maya's breath quickened slightly. "She's been working on a special project," she answered smoothly. "I've needed her input."

"I see," Asuka nodded, "and this project… needs her to take her clothes off?"

Though her smile remained in place, Asuka thought that the other woman paled slightly. "I don't know what you mean."

"Should I call Section Two?" Asuka sniped, wondering herself why she cared so much. "I KNOW something is going on here, Miss Ibuki, just tell me what it is! I don't even care if you're _sleeping_ with Wondergirl – I really don't – but I want to know, because I-"

"She's soft…"

"Huh?"

Maya looked into Asuka's blue eyes, leaning further forward in her chair. "I didn't mean to, the first time…" she whispered, her breathing now decidedly erratic. "I just had to take her…"

"Take?" Asuka breathed, her expression going from hard to horrified. "You're… _taking_ her??"

"Please don't tell," Maya murmured, "God… I feel so bad… but I just can't help it! It was just little touches, at first… just accidents, but she started to figure it out – I had to make it more."

"You SHOULD feel bad!" Asuka snapped, slamming her fist down on the woman's desk and making her jump, "How long have you been… doing that to her?!?"

"Two years."

"You pervert," Asuka muttered. "No wonder she's like that!"

"I just… can't help it," Maya whispered, her face flushed with shame. "She's so soft, Asuka, you don't understand – she's so soft. She's like a perfect little doll for me… she does what I want her to, and she never complains, and she never tells. And she is… so… soft…"

"You're a freak," Asuka replied disgustedly, turning away. "I would never be someone else's doll like that. I'm telling the Comma-" She was cut off as Maya reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Let… me go!" she demanded, trying to pull free. "I said let me GO!!"

"So soft…" Maya whispered, her eyes focused on Asuka's wrist with an expression akin to horrified, sick wonder. "Like her. So… soft…"

Asuka's blood ran cold. "Let me go," she whispered, her voice going from angry and disgusted to wavering and uncertain. "Miss Ibuki… let me go."

Maya did not reply, she simply continued to stare at the redhead's skin, her eyes growing glassy and far-off. 

Asuka fought. 

No longer was this a case of reporting misconduct, this was a direct threat. She kicked… but Maya dodged her clumsy attack. She tried to slap her… but Maya raised her other hand, catching her before she could. She tried to bite… but Maya simply turned her wrist, moving her hand out of the way.

Finally… she pleaded. "Please… I won't tell anyone, Miss Ibuki – I swear I won't! Just… just let me go, ok? Ok, Miss Ibuki?"

"Can't help it…" Maya whispered thickly, bowing her head in shame. "Just… so soft…"

"NO!!" Asuka screamed, redoubling her efforts to free herself as the other woman began slowly, steadily pulling her closer. She could see the vacant expression in Maya's eyes, and she knew that she had to break free… but she was not as strong as she had imagined.

Maya Ibuki's office was filled with the sounds of quiet, desperate struggles, and the words, 'so soft… can't help it…' whispered over and over again, until, ultimately… another scream echoed through the room.

__

"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!"

**

Misato Katsuragi strode quickly through the halls of NERV, entering the medical section and casting her eyes around for any sign of the person she sought. "Where is she?" she demanded, grabbing a passing nurse. "Where's the Second Child?"

The nurse winced. "Please, Major… you're hurting my ar-"

"WHERE!?"

__

Damnit! Misato thought angrily as the nurse pointed. _Bad enough that Section Two took seven days to find her! But they can't even tell me what ROOM she's in?!?_

Seven days. That's how long the redheaded pilot had been missing this time. Misato couldn't really blame her for running away – what with her loss of ability to pilot, and all – but what made her mad was that she was certain Section Two wasn't terribly concerned about finding her. She was mostly a burden to them at that point.

"Report," she said curtly, spying a doctor looking through the observation window of the room the nurse had indicted.

"She's resting," the doctor said calmly, used to seeing agitated family members near hysterics. "But she's had a rough time. Something bad has happened to her."

"Yes, doctor," Misato nodded. "She's had the only thing that matters to her taken away – you've read her report."

The doctor nodded, sighing. "Yes, I suppose that must be it," he said reluctantly.

"What else could it be?" the purple-haired woman inquired, confused.

Scratching the back of his neck, the doctor mused, "Well, I've worked in the ER a long time, and Miss Souryu here…"

"Yes?" Misato prompted as he trailed off.

The doctor hesitated. "Well," he said slowly, "when she was brought in, she appeared rather dazed and shell-shocked – not unusual for someone running away from home and living on the streets, even for a short period of time." He shook his head. "But… she also flinched and pulled back anytime anyone touched her – and that's usually a sign of early-stage abuse." He frowned darkly. "Generally, children suffering abuse for a long time offer no resistance – they know they will be punished for fighting back – but Miss Souryu… I don't know…"

"You're saying someone molested her?" Misato asked incredulously.

"No," the doctor said quickly, "I'm saying she exhibits the symptoms. There's no physical evidence of an assault – not recently anyway." He turned to face her. "But it doesn't have to be a recent thing. That's one theory, I suppose…"

"I don't want theories," Misato said sharply, her tone softening as she added, "but molested? Asuka?" She gave the man a sudden, thoughtful glance, "Doctor," she said carefully, "is there any way this was caused by the last angel she fought? I mean… molestation is pretty serious, and I want to know if you think that's what it is… but what the angel did to her…" she shrugged awkwardly.

"Ahh yes," the doctor nodded. "I've seen her since that happened, and she didn't pull away when I examined her… but I suppose a delayed-onset IS possible – and exceptionally probable, now that I think about it."

"Could it be anything else?" Misato asked, concerned. "She was out there a while…"

For a moment, the doctor considered this. He recalled the child's terrified expression at any kind of contact – especially from other women, oddly enough – but his mind kept coming back to the angel's attack. In all his years of training, he had never seen anything even remotely like it, so he could not rule it out as the source of Asuka's current trauma, no matter how hard his instincts tried to convince him otherwise.

"No," he said finally, unknowingly keeping the true reason for the girl's condition in the dark. "That must be it."

"Where was she found this time?" the Operations Director asked softly.

"In the remains of an apartment building – one, I'm told, that her friend Hikari Horaki used to live in…" He shook his head sadly. "She was in the bathtub when they found her, but the water that was in it was from the last rainfall – a week ago. And her clothes…" he took long breath and let it out slowly. "Her clothes were all in a neat pile on the chair next to the tub… like she was more concerned about getting THEM dirty than herself."

__

Or she thought she was already dirty, the purple-haired woman thought, _God knows I would, if my mind was defiled that way._

"Anything else you'd like to know?" the doctor asked.

"No," Misato murmured, turning for the door, "but if her condition changes, let me know immediately."

Frowning and feeling like he had just made a huge mistake, but not knowing why, the doctor nodded.

"Yes, ma'am."

**

Maya sat at her desk, her fingers idly tracing its contours as she stared at her monitor. She had not touched her keyboard for over fifteen minutes, and the screen had long-since gone blank.

__

Soon, she thought with a mixture of excitement and disgust, _she'll be here soon… my little doll… my little Rei…_

She had been hard-pressed not to blush and excuse herself from the room when the report on Asuka's condition was announced, but somehow she managed it. It wouldn't do to look embarrassed over the retrieval of the Second Child, even if she was somehow responsible. She even toyed (briefly) with the idea of standing up and shouting, 'Do any of you know how sweet she tastes? Can any of you even imagine?!'

Now, sitting at her desk, she had to take a deep breath to calm herself. "Hurry up, Rei," she muttered to herself. "I need it so bad…"

The Second Child had fought so hard… but Maya had ultimately overpowered her and taken what she wanted – what she NEEDED. She wasn't sure how the girl had explained her torn shirt, or panties, but she must have come up with something, because Maya was still free and Asuka had continued to go to her sync-tests for two days afterwards – even though her ratio was at zero. 

After she had taken what she had needed from the weeping girl, Maya explained to her how sorry she was, telling her how badly she had needed to feel her skin. She explained in gentle, loving tones how Asuka had provoked her by being so aggressive and threatening. How little girls with so much energy just turned her on to the point that she couldn't control herself anymore, and how Asuka – just by being so close, and so vivacious – had pushed her into touching her that way.

Asuka had nodded, her tear-streaked face a study in confusion and shame. Obviously it was her fault as well, Maya explained kindly, hugging the sniffling girl, couldn't she see that? It was the same with Rei, she told her, the first time. Rei used to be so energetic, and happy, and full of life. How could Maya keep from wanting to be with a star that shone that brightly? How could she not want to make that her possession? To break down the barriers the blue-haired girl had erected until she was totally, absolutely submissive and meek?

How could she?

She looked up as a knock sounded at her door. "Come in," she called quickly, wetting her lips subconsciously in anticipation.

Rei entered the room, her eyes cast downward. "It is seven," she whispered.

She knew what this meant, of course. Two years of education from the technician had taught her that seven o'clock on a weekday meant fifteen minutes in her office with the door closed. 

Eight o'clock on weekend days meant an hour in her apartment.

"Good girl," Maya praised her affectionately, leaning forward in her chair. "Now come over to me… there's a good girl…"

Rei obediently stepped closer to the older woman, keeping her eyes submissively low.

"So beautiful," Maya whispered hoarsely, reaching up to touch the girl's cheek. "You're so warm and smooth, Rei… like an angel." Her breathing grew shallower as she slid her hands down to the top button of Rei's shirt.

"Lieutenant."

Maya frowned, slowly slipping the first button free of the cloth. "Rei," she murmured, "you know I don't like you to talk…"

The blue-haired girl nodded slowly, offering no resistance as more of her buttons were removed, but for the first time in a very long time… she did not do as she was told. "Miss Ibuki," she whispered gently.

Maya's hands were trembling. "WHAT, Rei?" she snapped, feeling a light sweat break out on her brow. _Make her stop talking!_ she thought frantically, now fumbling with the last of the buttons. _She needs to stop talking! She's a doll – just a doll! She's YOUR doll, so don't let her talk anymore!_

Rei's expression remained unchanged as the technician finally succeeded in unfastening all of the buttons on the white shirt she wore, all but tearing the garment from her insignificant frame in the frantic hurry to touch her. Her crimson eyes continued to meet the other woman's clouded brown ones, showing no trace of resistance or argument.

"You… know I don't like you to talk," Maya murmured thickly, placing her hands on the girl's narrow waist and pulling her body closer. "Be a good little girl…"

"Maya."

The tech flinched. Never before had the First Child used her given name. It was always 'Miss Ibuki,' or 'Lieutenant,' a term of respect and honor – and didn't she deserve that? She could not help herself! It was not her fault that she liked the feel of young girls so much… and they needed to talk to her like an elder, damnit!

"WHAT, Rei!?!"

Rei did not flinch as the older woman's fingers dug cruelly into her sensitive skin. She had learned long ago (so long ago) that fighting back would earn her more pain. "You are unwell," she said gently, slowly reaching out and laying her right hand on Maya's face. "There are people that can help you, Miss Ibuki."

"No they can't," Maya whispered tremulously. "No one understands… no one can help… and I have. To. Do. IT!"

The brown-haired woman closed her eyes, breathing in shallow, uneven pants. No one could understand what she needed – no one! She tried to talk to one of her friends about it once – speaking in hypotheticals, of course – and the woman had been scornful… hateful. She could still hear the disgust in the other woman's voice as she told her what she would do to a person she found out was touching a child. There was no attempt to understand. No desire to find out why. There was only hate and blind prejudice.

Like… Asuka.

Oh how she regretted that day. Normally she was so composed – so collected and in control – but that girl… that wonderful, soft, vibrant little girl… had pushed her so hard. She pushed so hard that the brown-haired woman had no CHOICE but to respond, to push back.

Maya opened her eyes, feeling her control starting to slip. "Shut up, Rei," she said thickly. "Don't say another word."

Before the girl COULD reply, the technician reached up and tore the bra from her slim body.

"I am sorry…"

"That's better," Maya gasped, her body shaking as she reached up. "That's a good liitl-"

"But I cannot be your doll anymore."

Maya's eyes widened as, for the first time in two years… Rei said no. Her brow darkened, her face going red with rage as the girl stepped back and reached down to her discarded shirt, her slender hand slipping into the pocket. How dare she? How DARE she try to say no after all the time and effort Maya had put forth to teach her how she should feel?

"You'll do what I tell you!" Maya shrieked, jumping to her feet and slapping the girl across the face. She towered over the fallen teen, her blood boiling. "You belong to ME!" she screamed, "Do you understand! You're MINE! I have to have you – why doesn't anyone UNDERSTAND!?"

"I… understand," Rei whispered gently, staring at the drop of blood that had fallen from her split lip onto the back of her hand. "And that is why… I will help you."

Maya opened her mouth and raised her hand, her anger overwhelming her to the point she could not think. She would show this insolent child. She would re-teach all the lessons that had first broken her, she would remind her WHY she was the owner and Rei the slave.

Before she could say anything further… the door to her office slid silently open.

"That will be enough, Lieutenant."

Maya's eyes widened in shock. "C-Commander…" she stammered, swallowing heavily as Gendou Ikari entered the room, flanked by two armed security officers and a doctor in a white lab coat.

"Is it enough?" Rei whispered.

Maya looked down, her eyes widening as she truly SAW what lay at her feet. Not a plaything to do with as she pleased. Not a toy she could play with. Not a silken, obedient doll, only existing to help her satisfy her cravings… but a weak, defenseless teenager, allowing herself to be defiled for fear of the retribution that would surely be visited on her should she resist.

"Is it enough, Miss Ibuki?" Rei repeated.

"Rei," Maya gasped, "Rei, I-"

"Take her away," Gendou interjected coldly.

Maya bowed her head as the two security guards stepped forward, forcing her arms roughly behind her back and fixing a pair of handcuffs on her wrists. "Couldn't help it…" she whispered, her eyes growing hazy once more. "Just… couldn't help it… so soft…"

She was still whispering as she was led off, the doctor following the security officers and leaving Rei and the Commander alone.

Quietly, Gendou removed his commander's jacket, kneeling at the girl's side and draping it over her bare skin. "It's over now, Rei," he said gently.

"Will she be helped?" Rei asked, not looking up as she pulled the coat around her thin shoulders.

Gendou pursed his lips. "She will not be executed," he said coolly. "As you requested. And she will be admitted to the psychiatric division."

For the second time in her life, Rei spoke those alien words.

"Thank you."

Gendou simply nodded as she rose to her feet, leaving her school shirt – and the transmitting device in the pocket – where it had fallen. He resisted the urge to ask her again WHY she had not come to him sooner, as they had already covered that ground… but it still weighed on his mind. He could not understand how a person could let themselves be abused for so long and say nothing. His mind simply could not get around the concept of fear on such a visceral, primal level, or fathom being too weak, or too tired, to fight anymore.

He had never been victimized the way Rei had, and thus – he would NEVER be able to comprehend the damage that had been done to her, nor could he grasp her desire to help the woman that had injured her.

"I have a change of clothes for you in my office," he said quietly as they started for the door, letting the subject go for the time being. What good would it do to ask why Rei had felt the need to speak to Maya before she was arrested if she would not give him a straight answer?

Rei nodded, even then not quite allowing herself to believe that this nightmare – this quiet, daily torture – was over. She knew that someday, she would need to explain herself to the Commander, if not to help him understand, then at least to quiet his mind and assure him that she was still, when all was said and done… his.

She hoped that day would not come for a long, long time – at least until she could properly put her thoughts and feelings into words. The shame… the self-loathing… the constant, never-ending degradation of forcing herself to submit. And maybe, when that day came, she could ask why he never noticed the changes in her. Why he couldn't see her becoming slowly more withdrawn from the world, or ask about the real reason he had moved her into her own apartment – so soon after Miss Ibuki first touched her. Did he see? Did he… not WANT to see? 

Had he known, on some level, all along?

Some day, she promised herself, taking a final look over her shoulder at the technician's office, some… day… 

Epilogue

"I believe she will recover, in time," the doctor said quietly, tilting his head towards the hospital bed.

"You have sedated her, then?" came the reply.

"We had to," the doctor shrugged. "I couldn't take the risk of her hurting my staff – or herself, you see."

"Understood."

"I really do believe that she will snap out of it," the doctor continued. "At her age, a trauma like this IS something she can come back from…" he sighed, "she just needs to come back from the place in her mind where she's hidden herself." He lowered his voice to a whisper, taking a step towards the door. "And she needs to forgive herself. That's the most important thing – she needs to see that this was not her fault. Do you understand?"

The room's other occupant turned to face him. "Yes, doctor," was the quietly whispered answer. "I understand…"

"Good," the doctor murmured. "Good day Miss Ayanami… you may have fifteen minutes."

Rei nodded, her eyes staying on the bed.

She knew what the doctor was talking about when he spoke of forgiveness… but she could not forgive herself this transgression – the damage was far too great. If she lived to be a hundred years old, repenting every day, she still could not come close to making amends for the wounds she had allowed to be inflicted on the bed's occupant.

Taking a seat next to the bed, she bowed her head, knowing she could not stay silent. "I am sorry," she whispered, knowing this was far from enough, but knowing that she could not go another second without saying anything. "I am sorry for my weakness, and I am sorry for all that has been taken from you."

There was no indication that her words were being heard, and most likely, she realized, they were not. Regardless, she spoke on.

"When you recover," she murmured, placing her hand on the still, cool arm of the person in the bed, "I will let you do what you feel is necessary. You may punish me, if you like… I will not stop you." She swallowed, once again feeling the unfamiliar dampness on her cheeks. "I know that I cannot ask you to forgive what I have done, but before you seek vengeance, I hope you will at least listen to the reasons why. It was ok when it was just me – I have no worth… I can be replaced… but it was not alright for this to happen to you… and I am sorry…"

Reclaiming her hand she rose to her feet.

"I will find you when you wake," she whispered. "No matter how long it takes, or what the circumstances are. I will try to explain my weakness for you. Goodbye." Without another word, she turned and left the room, unable to bear the silence any longer.

The door slid closed, leaving the room's sole occupant in stillness. The bed itself could not tell of what it had seen… the screaming, frantic clawing at its covers, the wide-eyed, blank stare of the body it held as the sedatives finally took some of the pain away. The bed could not tell you of the many tears that had stained it, or the whimpering each and every night when the lights went out, or the nightly pleas for mercy that echoed in the room as horrifying nightmares chased sleep away.

There is nothing that the bed itself could tell you, but if it could at least hint, it would point you in the direction of the doctor's chart at its foot. It would guide you to the graphs and charts showing an irregular alpha wave. It would suggest that you look at the page marked, 'Chance of recovery,' a page marked with a sickeningly low 58%. And lastly, if it could, the bed would tell you to take a look at the girl herself… though her glassy, empty stare and lackluster, formerly vibrant hair should be indicative enough.

In the still of the room, the silence was broken by a ragged, indrawn breath… and a soft, miserable whimper.

Asuka Langley Souryu… was dreaming again…

The End

Author's notes: ok – why? Why was this written? It's a combination of things, actually, and it really started with a review. I didn't want to take TOO much time explaining, but I kinda felt it was necessary, so I'll try to make it brief and start with a review I got on Should a Chance be Taken? that mentioned something about Maya being a child-molester. The idea… sickened me. The mere thought of molestation makes me physically ill, and the idea of that word being associated with that story made me stop writing for over a week. The review was left quite some time ago… but it keeps resurfacing in my mind, unwilling to go away and demanding my attention. Enter – another idea. I was thinking of writing a story that explained that Rei was a product of her environment, and was once as happy and bubbly as other girls her age. Somehow, around 6 AM or so one morning, the two ideas met. It went from me thinking of the next chapter of Chances Taken… to thinking of that review… to thinking of Maya forcing herself on Shinji… to thinking of Maya forcing herself on Asuka… to Maya forcing herself on Asuka, but secretly having been forcing herself on Rei for years. I have to admit that writing this story made me sick. I've read a few things on molesters, and seen a movie or two that tackles the subject, and the fragmented, out of control way some of their minds operate disgusted and fascinated me. I tried to imagine what kind of damage a mind would have to have to rationalize doing that to a child – I actually TRIED to rationalize doing it, just to see if my mind could operate that way. 

Gotta pause here to Thank God that I could not. 

I think I did get close, though, with Maya's thought patterns. I've read that a lot of molesters feel that they cannot stop themselves, and actually KNOW that there's something abnormal about them. I didn't want molestation to be a lame plot device – just a hook to allow me to write some angsty shit – I wanted the plot to be an exploration of this sickness, and the fact that it IS a sickness. I kinda wanted the message here to be 'no one is truly to blame for this,' or, more appropriately, 'don't hate the sinner, hate the sin.'

I don't know how well I succeeded… I guess that's for you to judge. Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com

Pre-reading was courtesy of Haesslich, for concept, and Ryoma, for structure and characterization.


End file.
